Thorn Brothers campaign for a tag title shot (XFA 12/6)

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~"Dignity" by Bullet For My Valentine begins to play and the crowd is instantly on their feet as Jay and Pitbull make their ways out wearing their street clothes with Jay carrying a box and throwing into the audience what looks like XFE trading cards and Pitbull with an air gun, shooting T-shirts into the audience~
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Brandon Routh: "What on earth are they doing?"
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Reggie Miller: "I guess the losses last week have finally pushed these idiots over the edge."
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Brandon Routh: "Will you cut it already Reggie, these two are doing what they're better than anyone at, entertaining."
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~As Jay and Pitbull get into the ring they lay the box and gun down. Jay goes over to pick up a mic and Pitbull loads the gun with what seems like metal scrap and shards of glass. They exchange a few words without the mic before Jay hands it over to Pitbull~
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Pitbull: "You guys know what? Last week didn't go all too well for us and we figured we'd change our strategy a bit.... First off, Richy Rich. A loss is a loss and I can take it like a man, by humiliating me after that? Bad idea. Now I owe you one."
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~Jay takes the mic from Pitbull and looks directly to the back~
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Jay Thorn: "Boobinator. Last week we we're willing to let by gones be by gones. But you better keep you're boys in line because now there's bad blood between the Detroit Assassination Squad and High Society for what Drew did. So the way I see it, Drew needs a lesson.... or this will get real ugly, real quick. Your decision."
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~After this Jay's expression lights up as he goes to pick up what at first glance looks like XFE trading cards from the box but when shown to the camera, feature the Thorn Brothers, which is not in the official line~
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Jay Thorn: "Now, on to actual business. We want to earn a tag title shot, in case you guys didn't know. Since we haven't been given matches as a team to prove ourselves in a while, we have to improvise. So... To be a successful star and champion for this company, wrestlers have to be popular and be able to sell merch. Care to explain, Joel?"
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~Pitbull takes over the mic as Jay is showing the card~
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Pitbull: "As XFE management has neglected to create a D.A.S. trading card, we decided to prove our popularity point by creating this. A bootleg trading card for the Thorn Brothers. And check this out, every single copy has been hand signed by the Murder City Machine Gun and the Pitbull. And for one night only, we are illegally selling them on set stands throughout the arena (true fans know what letters to look for), for the modest price for 10$ a card. You just can't beat it."
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~Pitbull hands the mic over to Jay and picks up a t-shirt from the box, also a feature shirt for the D.A.S. but again not one from the official XFE-line~
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Jay Thorn: "To compliment that, we have created this bootleg D.A.S. t-shirt, also sold on those set stands throughout the arena for the unbelievably low, low price of 25$!!!"
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Pitbull: "25 dollars? What a steal!"
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Jay Thorn: "Exactly. And on top of that, for every t-shirt or card sold DURING Jesse Blue's and Tonten's match(es), we'll throw in this awesome shirt."
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~Pitbull holds up a shirt with the text "I payed not to see General Quarters" and the faces of Jesse Blue and Tonten crossed over on the back~
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Jay Thorn: "So don't waste time watching Jesse and Tonten kill the tag division, when they are out, go one go all! Show that you want a change! Leave the seats, take your money and go buy this illegal D.A.S. merch! All proceeds will be used in the 'Save the Tag Division by Giving the D.A.S. a Title Shot Campaign', except the modest 30% that will go into our party fund."
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~The crowd is laughing and chanting "Thorn, Thorn, Thorn" as Pitbull picks up the mic~
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Pitbull: "But wait, there's EVEN more you can do. On our official site, DAS.com, we have an online petition going on, link it up to the X-Tron, Louie!"
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~A picture from DAS.com shows up on the X-Tron with a picture of the petition with the headline being "General Quarters have gotten boring and stale, we do not want to see them everywhere. We hereby demand a title shot for the Thorn Brothers at Guilty Conscience", causing another round of laugh and cheers from the audience~
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Pitbull: "Every 10,000 signatures we get, that petition will be e-mailed to the general managers office. So every chance, any chance you get... Go sign up, let's flood their mailbox until they have to give us the match everyone wants to see!"
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~"Dignity" by Bullet For My Valentine begins to play again as Jay and Pitbull leave up the ramp with the box and the air gun, handing bootleg shirts and cards to ringside fans~
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OMG! You are so gonna pay for this! When I'm back in town, I will write the second part of this masterpiece.
Hint:
Cease and desist, or we will sue you...

Hey, we have to get under peoples skin somehow.

~"Hang Tough" by Tesla plays as "The Natural" Jesse Blue and Tonten appear on the X-Tron. Tonten is on a cell phone. Jesse Blue make a cutting motion across his throat as the music stops~
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Jesse Blue: "Tonten...Hey buddy... top killing the Tag Team Division, man."
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Tonten: "Shhh. I'm on the phone with our agent. He's gonna confer with an attorney..."
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Jesse: "While you two are showing us how you're tag team specialists..."
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Tonten: "Yeah...by losing. (into phone) Yes sir. (pause) Yes sir."
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Jesse: "You guys are using our likeness and our names on merchandising. You're right. It is illegal. You want us at Guilty Conscience? Not as bad as we want you. You walk around talking like you are number one contenders, but you can't beat those High Society guys."
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Tonten: "Our agent has conferred with the Law Office of Willie Suem and Howe. He says, 'Cease and Desist'. Technically, you should be giving us some money, for defamation, and licensing and copyright infringement. Jesse, I say we let them keep their money. They'll need it for hospital bills. I say... We give them the match they want, and have it in the confines of a steel cage. I say...We punish the guilty...and cleanse their conscious."
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Jesse: "We'll cleanse your souls...by ripping them out of your bodies. Make sure you can beat High Society, before you start demanding title shots."
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(Anyone... Anyone...)

~High Society's Music hits the speakers as Drew "Rich" Richard is shown on the Titan Tron~
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Drew "Rich" Richard: "Well, Well, blue may have it right, the Thorn Bros may have to take us down before they can challenge for the titles, but what i heard first from the Dip**** Thorn Bro was that i needed a lesson? isnt that right Jay?"
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~Suddenly Drew "Rich" Richard get pushed away and Baldor staring into the camera~
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Baldor: "Can I have the signed trading cards?"
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good RP