Saintly Sermon for XFA 4/18

(Please put this AFTER both mine and Serious Pat Bookers matches!)

Saint Patrik is standing in the middle of the ring, a single spotlight shining down on him. He is wearing a perfectly tailored dark suit, but his right arm is in a sling and his hair is barely visible through the bandage wrapped around his head. His otherwise perfectly groomed face is ruined not only by the bandages, but a black eye. His left arm is leaning on a crutch, the right lifts up the microphone:

"Dear congregation..."

The boos nearly drown out his voice.

"I said: Dear congregation!!! I have come here tonight to let you know that I kept my promise to you. I did what I promised; I made Y2K quit."

The crowd burst out laughing, yelling: "TEN AND OUT! TEN AND OUT! TEN AND OUT!"

"Dear congregation... You know your most humble servant kept his word to you. The dreaded Y2K is no more. I made him quit. Isn't that so? Please, show me where he is now? That's right. He has seen what he dreaded the most - his sins! - and thus he has become a changed man. Through the power of Faith, I changed him! Yes, my sheep, I did keep my word to you! I was truthful! Rejoice!"

The crowd goes dead silent, absolutely stunned by Saint Patrik's interpretation of what went down last week. He lifts his arms out from his sides in an angelic pose, but stumbles and barely stays upright.

"Hrrmmm... My dear faithful flock... I am here today to let you know what is the next destination on our grand journey. I have dispatched of both Y2K and Travo, and they were obviously no obstacles for us in our legendary march to greatness. Now we have bigger things before us, much bigger. We are changing this entire wrestling federation! We are cleaning out the filth, the immorality, the stench of ungodliness - and we are doing it in the name of The Lord!"

The crowd stands gaping, not believing what they are hearing.

"Right here in Orlando, Florida we are drawing a line in the sand. We are sick of this cesspool of a federation! We can't stand the whoremongering in the locker room! We can't stand the uneducated men that only know violence! We can't stand the women that don't know their role! We cannot stand the language used in front of our children! We are going to show what family values truly mean! This place needs to be thoroughly cleansed, and it---"

The microphone dies mid-sentence. Suddenly an angry voice BOOMS over the loudspeakers:

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!?!"

(Take it from here, Serious! )

~The crowd arrupts, Serious makes his way to the ring~

SERIOUS Pat Booker: Listen mister Humble Servant. If you're looking to clean up around here start with me, cause I'm the dirtiest SOB this side of the crazy house. I'm sick of all the talking. I'm even sick of hearing myself talk. How about I just go down there and kick the Jesus snot out of you?!




back to you Saint

Saint Patrik looks around in fear as the crowd goes wild with anticipation.

"Stop right there! I'm injured! Yes, I'm injured! Since vanquishing the great extremist Y2K I have had to have several appointments with my private physician, and she has not yet cleared me to wrestle!"

The crowd roars, pushing Serious on.

"I'm a man of both action and words, but as the Good Book says: 'The meek shall inherit the earth'. You, Serious Pat Booker, have no reason to come here and threaten an injured man!"

As he turns away from Serious, he whispers barely audible:

"And on top of that, you're not even worthy of lacing my boots..."

Saint Patrik looks at the microphone, realizing that exactly everyone in the arena just heard him. He freezes up and stands trembling with his back to Serious Pat Booker.

(Over to you, SPB!)

~Serious smiles, the crowd begins to chant BOOK-ER BOOK-ER~

SERIOUS Pat Booker: You haven't been injured until you've been SERIOUSLY injured. I'm afraid we aren't going to be wrestling. When you face Serious, you fight for your life. When I'm done with you I'll be lacing your boots around your neck!

~Serious runs down to the ring and begins unleashing a SERIOUS beating! Kicking him in the mid-section then performing a massive DDT. Rolls outside the ring and grabs a steel chair and smashes Saint Patrik in the face, and finally destroys him with a Serious Driver. He rolls outside the ring again, grabs a mic.~

SERIOUS Pat Booker: Praise the Lord! Peace be with you! You're welcome for your daily bread, if you have anymore issues with cleaning up XFE bring your mop, Jesus Freak!

(I can use this back talking to this Y2K person you speek of...)

As Serious walks up the steel ramp, massively cheered by the crowd, Saint Patrik crawls over to the microphone. He lays down on his back and stares at the lights. He speaks in a calm voice, ready to crack:

"Serious. Pat. Booker. You. Are. Damned. I will get you, if it's the last thing I do. The crusade goes on, and you're standing right in front of it."

Saint Patrik lies still in the ring as the camera fades to black.



(End of RP - any feedback from the rest of the fed?)

(Please put this AFTER both mine and Serious Pat Bookers matches!)

~Saint Patrik is standing in the middle of the ring, a single spotlight shining down on him. He is wearing a perfectly tailored dark suit, but his right arm is in a sling and his hair is barely visible through the bandage wrapped around his head. His otherwise perfectly groomed face is ruined not only by the bandages, but a black eye. His left arm is leaning on a crutch, the right lifts up the microphone:~

"Dear congregation..."

~The boos nearly drown out his voice.~

"I said: Dear congregation!!! I have come here tonight to let you know that I kept my promise to you. I did what I promised; I made Y2K quit."

~The crowd burst out laughing, yelling: "TEN AND OUT! TEN AND OUT! TEN AND OUT!"~

"Dear congregation... You know your most humble servant kept his word to you. The dreaded Y2K is no more. I made him quit. Isn't that so? Please, show me where he is now? That's right. He has seen what he dreaded the most - his sins! - and thus he has become a changed man. Through the power of Faith, I changed him! Yes, my sheep, I did keep my word to you! I was truthful! Rejoice!"

~The crowd goes dead silent, absolutely stunned by Saint Patrik's interpretation of what went down last week. He lifts his arms out from his sides in an angelic pose, but stumbles and barely stays upright.~

"Hrrmmm... My dear faithful flock... I am here today to let you know what is the next destination on our grand journey. I have dispatched of both Y2K and Travo, and they were obviously no obstacles for us in our legendary march to greatness. Now we have bigger things before us, much bigger. We are changing this entire wrestling federation! We are cleaning out the filth, the immorality, the stench of ungodliness - and we are doing it in the name of The Lord!"

~The crowd stands gaping, not believing what they are hearing.~

"Right here in Orlando, Florida we are drawing a line in the sand. We are sick of this cesspool of a federation! We can't stand the whoremongering in the locker room! We can't stand the uneducated men that only know violence! We can't stand the women that don't know their role! We can not stand the language used in front of our children! We are going to show what family values truly mean! This place needs to be thoroughly cleansed, and it---"

~The microphone dies mid-sentence. Suddenly an angry voice BOOMS over the loudspeakers:~

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!?!"

~The crowd erupts, Serious makes his way to the ring~

SERIOUS Pat Booker: Listen mister Humble Servant. If you're looking to clean up around here start with me, cause I'm the dirtiest SOB this side of the crazy house. I'm sick of all the talking, i'm even sick of hearing myself talk. How about I just go down there and kick the jesus snot out of you?!

~Saint Patrik looks around in fear as the crowd goes wild with anticipation.~

"Stop right there! I'm injured! Yes, I'm injured! Since vanquishing the great extremist Y2K I have had to have several appointments with my private physician, and she has not yet cleared me to wrestle!"

~The crowd roars, pushing Serious on.~

"I'm a man of both action and words, but as the Good Book says: 'The meek shall inherit the earth'. You, Serious Pat Booker, have no reason to come here and threat an injured man!"

~As he turns away from Serious, he whispers barely audible:~

"And on top of that, you're not even worthy of lacing my boots..."

~Saint Patrik looks at the microphone, realizing that exactly everyone in the arena just heard him. He freezes up and stands trembling with his back to Serious Pat Booker. Serious smiles, the crowd begins to chant "BOOK-ER! BOOK-ER!"~

SERIOUS Pat Booker: You haven't been injured until you've been SERIOUSLY injured. I'm afraid we aren't going to be wrestling. When you face Serious, you fight for your life. When I'm done with you I'll be lacing your boots around your neck!

~Serious runs down to the ring and begins unleashing a SERIOUS beating! Kicking him in the mid-section then performing a massive DDT. Rolls outside the ring and grabs a steel chair and smashes Saint in the face. Finally destroys him with a Serious Driver. Rolls outside the ring again grabs a mic.~

SERIOUS Pat Booker: Praise the Lord! Peace be with you! You're welcome for your daily bread, if you have anymore issues with cleaning up XFE bring your mop Jesus Freak!

~As Serious walks up the steel ramp, massively cheered by the crowd, Saint Patrik crawls over to the microphone. He lays down on his back and stares at the lights. He speaks in a calm voice, ready to crack:~

"Serious. Pat. Booker. You. Are. Damned. I will get you, if it's the last thing I do. The crusade goes on, and you're standing right in front of it."

~Saint Patrik lies still in the ring as the camera fades to black.~

That's cool