Nathan Payne brings pain to XFE (Aggression)

~The Arena is full of fans who are waiting for the next thrilling event to happen in the ring and suddenly "The Catalyst" by Linkin Park hits the whole arena, which surprises the fans as it has never been heard before and starts booing~
*
Brandon Routh: "That's a nice song, isn't it?" But why is it being played here?"
*
~And then appears a young guy in his wrestling attire and his entrance video displays his name "Nathan Payne" on the screen, as he moves towards the ring~
*
Reggie Miller: "Hmm Nathan Payne, neither saw this guy nor heard of him before, he looks to be young blood for X-force Entertainment!"
*
~Crowd still seems surprised~
*
Nathan Payne: "Hello everybody, I know that you all are wondering that who am I and what I am here for."
*
~A chant of boo comes out of the audience over which Nathan reacts with a smile~
*
Nathan Payne: "You might be unhappy to see me here, but later you all will die to see me, because I'm the future of Xfe as I have officially joined this company."
*
Reggie Miller: "Yeah, I was right."
*
~Mixed noise of cheers and boo is heard from the crowd~
*
Nathan Payne: "Well, I am here to introduce myself to you all and not wasting the time, I have something to show you."
*
~A video plays on the screen in which Nathan Payne is shown fighting, which mostly consists of great submission holds by Nathan~
*
Nathan Payne: "I hope that you have known my wrestling style and the last move you saw in my Finishing Move 'Payne Lock' which anyone will never want to taste, but my every opponent will have to taste it."
*
~Nathan starts laughing and the crowd seems a bit impressed with that video as they got to know about the wrestler~
*

"To be interrupted by Juan Khaoz"

Please let me know if any changes are to be made, as this is my first RP. Thanks

The only thing I really see is that the commentator colors are the other way around on the show. (Brandon=Blue, Reggie=Red)

thanks for telling me, i just made a guess. lol. btw how did you like my RP?

I liked it, since it didn't really give too much away about your character right off the bat and the idea of using a video package to introduce yourself.

Thanks, I need to learn a lot though

Well, there's a lot of good people around to learn from here.

And Jay (Olli) is one you can really larn a hell of alot from! Read his RPs and you see what it means to RP in character.

Nice RP, and I love your pic I was a big DDP fan!

~As Nathan continues to laugh, he is interrupted by the sound of "Faceless" by Godsmack. Nathan looks up at the entrance ramp where a man is now standing. The crowd are unsure how to react as this man starts to talk and walk to the ring~
*
Man: "Pardon the Interruption, but what the hell was that?"
*
~Nathan looks at this man, not quite sure what to make of him~
*
Man: "None of these people came here to see you. They came to see the debut of Juan Khaoz and here I am."
*
~Juan holds his hands out to the side, a smug look on his face. The crowd have taken an instant dislike to him but he doesn't seem to care~
*
~Juan now climbs into the ring~
*
Juan: "I am exactly what these people came to see. I'm quick, I'm agile, I'm good looking and most importantly, I'm better...."
*
~Turns and points at Nathan~
*
Juan: "....than you. And I'm willing to prove it right here, right now. You will not even get out of the blocks."
*
~Juan has a sarcastic smile on his face as he waits for Nathan to respond~
*


(Back to you Nathan. Finish it Off as I wont get a chance to come back.)

Also, this should be used instead of the Match Entrance.

~The Arena is full of fans who are waiting for the next thrilling event
to happen in the ring and suddenly "The Catalyst" by Linkin Park hits
the whole arena, which surprises the fans as it has never been heard
before and starts booing.~
*
Brandon Routh: "That's a nice song, isn't it?" But why is it being played here?"
*
~And then appears a young guy in his wrestling attire and his entrance video
displays his name "Nathan Payne" on the screen, as he moves towards the
ring~
*
Reggie Miller: "Hmm Nathan Payne,
neither saw this guy nor heard of him before, he looks to be young blood
for X-force Entertainment"
*
~Crowd still seems surprised~
*
Nathan Payne: "Hello everybody, I know that you all are wondering that who am I and what I am here for
*
~A chant of boo comes out of the audience over which Nathan reacts with a smile~
*
Nathan Payne: "You might be unhappy to see me here, but later you all will die
to see me, because I'm the future of Xfe as I have officially joined
this company."
*
Reggie Miller: "Yeah, I was right"
*
~Mixed noise of cheers and boo is heard from the crowd~
*
Nathan Payne: "Well, I am here to introduce myself to you all and not wasting the time, I have something to show you"
*
~A video plays on the screen in which Nathan Payne is shown fighting, which mostly consists of great submission holds by Nathan~
*
Nathan Payne: "I hope that you have known my wrestling style and the last move
you saw in my Finishing Move 'Payne Lock' which anyone will never want
to taste, but my every opponent will have to taste it"
*
~Nathan starts laughing and the crowd seems a bit impressed with that video as they got to know about the wrestler~
*
~As Nathan continues to laugh, he is interrupted by the sound of
"Faceless" by Godsmack. Nathan looks up at the entrance ramp where a man
is now standing. The crowd are unsure how to react as this man starts
to talk and walk to the ring.~
*
Man: "Pardon the Interruption, but what the hell was that?"
*
~Nathan looks at this man, not quite sure what to make of him.~
*
Man: "None of these people came here to see you. They came to see the debut of Juan Khaoz and here I am."
*
~Juan holds his hands out to the side, a smug look on his face. The crowd
have taken an instant dislike to him but he doesn't seem to care.~
*
~Juan now climbs into the ring~
*
Juan: "I am exactly what these people came to see. I'm quick, I'm agile, I'm good looking and most importantly, I'm better...."
*
~Turns and points at Nathan~
*
Juan: "....than you. And I'm willing to prove it right here, right now. You will not even get out of the blocks."
*
~Juan has a sarcastic smile on his face as he waits for Nathan to respond.~
*
~Nathan gives a look to Juan and then looks at the crowd, which is chanting boo, and then chuckles back at Juan~
*
Nathan: "So you think that they are here to see you??"
*
~Nathan then looks at the crowd and starts to speak~
*
Nathan: "Is that true guys??"
*
~Crowd chants No.....and Nathan starts laughing~
*
~As Nathan starts to speak, a voice is heard~
*
General Manager: "Whoa whoa whoa."
*
~Crowd starts chanting as Worthy appears~
*
Worthy: "You two guys think that you got what it takes to win the hearts of the audience?"
*
~Juan and Nathan are surprised to see the General Manager and can't figure out why he is here, while the GM is smiling~
*
Worthy: "So, I have something here for you on which you might be surprised."
*
~Both the wrestlers are wondering what the GM is talking about and crowd is chanting very loudly~
*
Worthy: "Ladies and Gentlemen! The next thrilling event in the arena is Nathan Payne vs. Juan Khaoz, right here, right now."
*
~Crowd is filled with joy as the GM announces the match, while Nathan and Juan looks at each other as they are completely surprised~
*

I guess it is done, and please let me know if anything is to be added or deleted from it, thanks

Should change General manager to Worthy as he is the aggression GM.

Also you need to edit some parts like this.

~Juan
holds his hands out to the side, a smug look on his face. The crowd
have taken an instant dislike to him but he doesn't seem to care.~

and

Nathan
Payne: "I hope that you have known my wrestling style and the last move
you saw in my Finishing Move 'Payne Lock' which anyone will never want
to taste, but my every opponent will have to taste it"

and back space so the text lines up correctly like this

~Juan holds his hands out to the side, a smug look on his face. The crowd
have taken an instant dislike to him but he doesn't seem to care.~

and

Nathan Payne: "I hope that you have known my wrestling style and the last move you saw in my Finishing Move 'Payne Lock' which anyone will never want to taste, but my every opponent will have to taste it"

For some reason it messes it up but a few back spaces here and there will match it all up

kk, thanks

Good rp though i like it a lot