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 Tales from the Date Files - Aug 26

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DieHard

DieHard


Number of posts : 1390
Location : Ottawa, ON
Registration date : 2008-04-30

Tales from the Date Files - Aug 26 Empty
PostSubject: Tales from the Date Files - Aug 26   Tales from the Date Files - Aug 26 Empty8/24/2009, 11:24 am

*
~The scene opens up showing a title screen..."Tales from the Date Files". A feed from a hidden camera shows a gorgeous blond female sitting at the table to the right of the camera...and an obviously disguised Playboy sitting on the left of the camera wearing a costume mustache~
*
Playboy (speaking in a terrible German accent): "Zo...my deere...I understand zat you very interested in zee German dudes...Any reazon in particular, may I ask?"
*
Female (playing with her hair seductively): "Well...I find the accent very sexy. And they always have this aura of power around them."
*
Playboy: "Troo....very troo...and (peeking down on his lap) valks on zee beech, right?"
*
Female: "Very good...I’m glad you took the time to read my profile. Most guys just try to set up a date once they
see my picture and don’t bother reading anything that is written there. Do you like walks on the beach?"
*
Playboy: "Vell...I like zee beech zo mucha dat, in Germany, my house ees right on the beech."
*
Female: "Really? Oh my god..."
*
Playboy: "Jes...I breen you zometime. Beauteeful, beauteeful house...tree storees manzion...priveet beech...nobozy bozzer you when you valkeen or tanneen."
*
~The meals arrive. As Playboy and the unnamed female prepare to dig in, the waiter asks which kind of beverage they would like with their meals~
*
Female: "I’ll have a Beck’s, please."
*
Waiter: "And for you, sir?"
*
Playboy: "I vill have your finees bottle of Pétrus, please."
*
Waiter: "Very, very good sir. I shall be right back."
*
Female: "And here I thought you German guy’s always drank beer."
*
Playboy: "I alwaees take vine eensteed of beer wid meal. Ees more...deegneefied and propeer, speciully around preety lady like jew."
*
~A few bites later~
*
Female: "You know...I don’t know if I can finish my meal. Throughout our discussions today...I can’t help but feel we are soul mates. You appreciate the same things that I do...it’s like you are the male version of me."
*
Playboy: "I zee...dis vebsite has done good yob matcheen us togezzer. It vas good ting for me to put myzelf on dere and find jew. I pay for meal and maybe vee... (takes her hand) go to hotel?"
*
Female (with a wink): "Hmm...perhaps...Maybe we take a little walk and see what develops. I will go visit the little ladies room first..."
*
Playboy: "I vill vait, my leetle dumplink..."
*
~The female leaves the table. As she gets out of sight, Playboy takes the hidden camera and looks into it~
*
Playboy (losing the accent): "Holy (censored). "This is (censored)ing going to work! She is damn hot, and it looks like the German Playboy is going to score. Unfortunately, for you...this is the end of the line. Until next time....."
*
~The feed cuts and the screen returns to ringside~
*
David Hood: "So this is why Playboy is not here tonight?"
*
Matt Scott: "Do you know of a better reason why?"
*
David Hood: "I just can’t believe that this scheme perpetrated by the Natural Born Thrillers is actually going to work."
*
Matt Scott: "You’re just jealous that you didn’t come up with the idea. You’ll never get a woman as hot as that!"
*
David Hood: "Oh shut up, Matt. People’s feelings are going to get hurt with this garbage. The Thrillers should be ashamed of themselves."
*
Matt Scott: "For some reason, I don’t think shame is something that Playboy is feeling right now."
*
~Matt laughs as David holds his head in his hands. David looks back up toward the camera~
*
David Hood: "With that...we better return to the ring where Erica is prepared to announce our next match."
*
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SaintPatrik
XFE Hall of Famer
SaintPatrik


Male
Number of posts : 613
Age : 50
Location : Sweden
Registration date : 2009-01-01

Tales from the Date Files - Aug 26 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Tales from the Date Files - Aug 26   Tales from the Date Files - Aug 26 Empty8/24/2009, 12:28 pm

Hilarious! Laughing
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