Jeremy Alsop Speaks

Sitting behind a desk Jeremy Alsop shuffles some paper acting like a news reporter. In the background is some news music. Jeremy Alsop looks up as the music fades.

Hello fellow wrestlers. For those of you who don't me allow myself to introduce myself. My name is Jeremy Alsop. I am from Palmerston North New Zealand and I am here at X-Force Wrestling to make an impact. Thats right an impact. You see i've been snooping around, keeping to myself trying to figure people out. Now some just seem plain psychotic. Has anyone seen that guy who likes to beat himself? I have to wonder what else he likes doing to himself. Or how about the guy who is going around calling himself "The King"? King of clowns i say especially since he has some guy who thinks he is a law enforcer or something with his hand in the so-called "Kings" back pocket. I'm not gonna ask about that one.

But there is one person. Well actually two persons that has spotted my attention. You see i was about to go visit our wonderful Vice-GM when these two lunatics came rushing out nearly knocking me over. Now with Jeremy been Jeremy i followed this guy around for a little. Boy was i impressed. The flashes bars, restuarants, cars. This guy had it all. Except for the ladies that is. They were with me. But forgetting all that he was really bugging me. His i want this, i want that was childish. And that other guy who was with him. He was tending to his every need. After i had seen enough i went to my new found home, had a glass of nice cold Coca-Cola and enjoyed a relaxing spa with some of my new found girlfriends.

Now i'm not gonna mention any names but JD Allgood, if you ever rush by me again, nearly knock me over, and pack temper tantrums like the one at that strippers club after the girls refused you a lapdance, i will knock that spoiled head of yours of your puny shoulders and feed it to my little cute Jack Russell. And why do i say this?

Cause i am Jeremy Alsop and what i say GOES!

Jeremy Alsop gets up and pushes the desk away revealing he isn't wearing any pants and is wearing a pair of womans boxer shorts.

The camera enters a backstage locker room. Inside we can hear soothing classical music. The walls are decorated with expensive drapes and furnishings. There is a small water fountain to one side and on the other side we can see a beautiful ice sculptor. JD Allgood is lying on his front receiving a massage from a young lady. He is having a phone conversation with his agent, Bobby Midas, over his upcoming X-Force Title Tournament Match with Darth Clay.

JD Allgood: "So you went to see the Vice-GM, explained to him how important I am to this company, asked for a free route into the next round so that I don't have to face that maniac and also get me a better locker room?!"

(JD Allgood pauses as he listens to Bobby Midas' response. It doesn't sound like his agent has been successful in negotiating JD Allgood out of the match)

"That's ridiculous!!! . . . But he . . . Doesn't he know who . . . I'm practically Royalty to this company!!! Bobby, I'm running out of time here! In just over a few hours I've got to wrestle against something out of a horror movie that actually ENJOYS pain! I pay you a lot of money to sort these things out, so sort them!!! And just remember, the sooner I become World Champion, the sooner I claim my father's business and the sooner that happens then I can give up comeing to these disgusting towns and cities and wrestling against society's unwanted infront of these idiot fans. I HATE this country! I HATE this company! I HATE this sport! And I HATE anything or anyone to do with it!!! The next time I speak to you it BETTER be good news, Good Day!!!"

(JD Allgood ends the conversation by throwing his earpiece across the room. He groans as he tries to relax while receiveing his massage. His man-servant, Afolston enters, carrying a tray of drinks and fruit.)

Afolston: "Your brunch, sir."

JD Allgood: (without even looking up at Afolston) "Good, leave it on the table, I'll eat it in a moment. Are you now off to pick up the Bentley for tonights events?"

Afolston: "Certainly, sir." (Afolston puts down the tray, and goes to leave the room, but then stops and turns back)
"Oh, there was one other thing, sir. A certain Mr. Alsop, Jeremy's his name if I'm not mistaken. Apparently he has taken offense to you in some way, and has made his feelings known on the television. I think he was the rather large gentleman you pushed past in the corridor after your visit to the Vice General Manager's office the other day."

JD Allgood: (SIGHS) "Afolston, I really couldn't care what some neanderthal janitor has to say, if he had any brains then he would know who I am and how could have the bloody fool fired. All it takes is just one phone call to the GM.

Afolston: I don't think he's a janitor, sir. He's one of the other wrestlers in the company. A rather good one I hear too. He also has a penchant for the ladies, judging by the two that where on his arms the other night when we were at the resturant.

JD Allgood: (thinks to himself) "Hmmm, a man of taste then. Big guy, yes? Strong? Perhaps you should arrange a meeting with this Mr. Alsop. I'm sure he and I could resolve our differences over a bottle of Cristal and a fine meal. And ask him to bring a few of his lady friends with him, I'm sure they would appreciate some English hospitality."

Afolston: "Yes sir." (Afolston leaves)

JD Allgood: (talking to the young female masseuse) "Of course, I'd invite you, but you're not as attractive as the ad said you'd be."

(The pretty young masseuse obviously takes offence to JD's nasty remark. Upset, she grabs a banana from the tray and violently forces it up the backside of JD)

JD Allgood: (Screams like a little girl) "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

Jeremy Alsop sitting down watching a replay of his first match against Officer Garcia

Jeremy Alsop: What a cheap shot that was. Should have expected it really. Any law enforcer does anything to prove they are right or to win. Oh well. No point crying over it. My time will come and then one day.....

Knock at the Door

JA: Come on in if you are a gorgeous hot young blonde female and looking for the night of your dreams!!

A well dressed Gentleman walks in. Jeremy Alsop looks very disapointed

JA: And how can i help you?

Gentleman: Hello Mr. Alsop. I am....

JA: Wait wait i know who you are. You're the guy i rang up about getting my Holden out of the impound. What took you so long?

Gentleman: No Sir.

JA: Then are you the interview guy who is here to ask me about my tournament match against Officer Garcia?

Gentleman: No Sir.

JA: I'm hoping you ain't the doctor because if you are you can go straight back to the medical centre and send in that young nurse that i saw eyeing me up.

Gentleman looking irritated

Gentlman: I am Afolston. I am the man-servant for JD Allgood and i am here to offer you a invitation for a bottle of cristal and a fine meal. My master would like you to bring some of your lady friends as well.

JA: Oh. How nice of him. Offering a fine meal when i can just ask one of my fine associates to go out and get me a dandy fine meal of Subway. And a bottle of Cristal you say. Very very generous.

Afolston: Yes indeed sir.

JA: Well unfortunately i am going to decline. Not because i'm not hungry no no no. I'm starving. But because i don't like stuck-up, spoiled, must have everything there own way brats who think just because his father is rich they can have whatever they want! The only thing i will accept is a match where i can give JD Allguts a black-eye, busted lip, broken nose and perhaps a taste of his own blood. If he hasn't already tasted it after his match with DarthClay or Darth Vader or whatever his name is.

Both Jeremy Alsop and Afolston look up for a second

JA: But because i know JD Allgay has a "way" with the ladys I'm gonna send two of my "personal" favourites to him.

Jeremy goes around a corner and brings two ladies with black blankets over their whole bodies.

JA: Take these to JD Allsorts and tell him they are a peace offering. Tell him that i cannot accept his "gracious" invitation due to prior arrangements and send him my regards. Now be careful with the ladies and make sure they get to JD Allgood in one piece ok.

Afolston: Very Good Sir. Good Day Sir

Afolston turns and leaves dragging the ladies along with him.

JA: Good Day to you to. Man im so upset i wont be around to see JD's face when he looks at his girls i gave him.

Jeremy Alsop smiles as he turns his attention back to the replay of his match

The camera cuts to the Vice GM's office. Dante is busy at his desk preparing tonights show. Suddenly the door bursts wide open. Sitting in a wheelchair, wearing a neckbrace with some obvious discomfort and looking very angry is JD Allgood. His man-servant Afolston, pushes JD towards Dante's desk. Dante looks up from his work and stares at JD, trying not to laugh at how ridiculous JD looks. JD fixes a stare onto Dante, he is furious. Afolston leans in and places a straw into JD Allgoods mouth so he can drink. As JD sucks at the straw he maintains his angry stare on Dante. JD finishes his drink and begins to talk.


JD Allgood: LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID! (Dante is still trying to hold back the laughter)

It was YOU who put me in the match with that THING! It was YOU who could have stopped it from happening! And it will be YOU who will be hearing from my lawyers!

Dante: Perhaps YOU should take another look at your contract. Then YOU would realise that I can put YOU in any match I feel like as long as YOU are a member of this roster. And I suggest YOU better get out of that ludicrous neckbrace, grow some balls and prepare for your match tonight.

Because YOU, JD Allgood, will be faceing HadesStar, one on one, TONIGHT!

(Dante stares aggresively at JD Allgood. JD looks like he's going to explode with rage. He jumps out of his wheelchair and then throws it across the room. He then rips off his neckbrace, throws it to the floor and starts to jump up on down on it like a spoilt child. JD Allgood storms out of Dante's office, quickly followed by Afolston)

JD Allgood: This is ridiculous, Afolston. These morons are trying to kill me!

(JD and Afolston walk back to there locker room. Just before JD enters, Afolton stops him)

Afolston: Nevermind, sir. Mr. Alsop has sent you a little gift by the way of two mysterious females. They're waiting for you in your quarters. Unfortunately, Mr. Alsop said he can't join you as he is engaged with other business at the moment.

(JD's frown changes lowly into a perverted smile.)

JD Allgood: Mysterious females, you say? Two? Shame that this Alsop can't be here, but I guess all the more for me, hey? (JD laughs as he nudges Afolston)

(JD is about to go into his locker room when he turns back to Afolston)

JD Allgood: Send Mr. Alsop a case of Cristal as a thankyou, will you Afolston?

(Afolston smiles and nods as he leaves JD to have some fun in his locker room. JD Allgood enters his locker room and walks up to the two cloaked women. The door closes in front of the camera and we are unable to see what is happening We can only hear voices.)

JD Allgood: Lets get you out of those cloaks so Dr. Allgood can take a look at you.

(We assume that the two women are disrobing as there is a pause. Suddenly, we here JD Allgood scream in horror. And he bursts back out of his locker room shutting the door behind him. He looks like he's seen something truly frightening and looks likes he's about to be sick. JD slumps to the ground. A concerned Afolston run up to him to see if he's all right.)

Afolston: Sir! Sir! Are you ok?!

JD Allgood: (still in absolute shock) C . . . Cancel the Cristal!!!

(ahahahaha i just love it how this guy humiliates himself)

Jeremy Alsop is walking down a corridor on his way to see Dante. As he is walking he notices around ten girls just waiting outside one of the locker rooms.

Jeremy Alsop: Hey Babe. My locker is down there. If you want to go and wait there i will be more than happy to show one of the best times of your life.

Babe: No thank you. All of us are here to see Playboy.

JA: Playboy? I have a few of them in my room. If you just want to come and have a look......

B: Sorry. We more interested in Mr Playboy himself. He has the body of a greek god and the face of a prince.

Jeremy smirks

JA: Huh. Oh well you know where my locker room is. Catch ya around

Jeremy continues on his way when he comes across the locker room for JD Allgood. Afolston is outside waiting for something.

JA: Afolston my man. How is JD Allsorts?

Afolston: He's not feeling the best Mr. Alsop. Not after what you did him.

JA: What you talking about? Wasn't he happy about the high class girls he got?

A: No Sir he wasnt. Infact he was very upset and sick at the sight of them. I was very concerned for him.

Jeremy has a puzzled look on his face

JA: Concerned. Well i wasnt for a minute. Those two high class ladies were top of the line. Guaranted to make any guys day.

A: If you say so sir.

JA: Well catch you around Afolston. You might want to......

Jeremy looks at a package on the floor next to Afolston

JA: What's in the package?

A: A gift from Dante. I just recieved it a little while ago.

JA: Oh. Dante doesnt send me any gifts. Have to talk to him about that. Anyhow Afolston my man tell JD Allsorts i said hi.

A: Will do sir. Good Day Sir.

Jeremy keeps walking until he gets to Dantes office. He knocks and enters to find nobody is here. Jeremy walks over to the refrigerator where he opens it up to find no coke in the fridge.

JA: Hmm. Well stocked isnt it. Oh well. Guess i'll leave Dante a note and continue on my merry way.

Jeremy writes down something on a piece of paper, pockets the pen and then leaves.


(Dante i will leave it up to you what is written on the note. You a little more creative than i am)